December 27, 2006

Soviet New Year Postcards

Soviet Union does not exist anymore. Somebody gloats, somebody feels nostalgy. As for us, just let's recall how Soviet New Year postcards looked like. One can be surprised but soviet people werea laso human, they also were celebrating holidays. Ok, let's go ahead:


















































The only thing we have left to say is... Happy New Year

December 26, 2006

Damn Cursed Country: Mafia Rules, Justice Corrupt

A court in Russia’s Far East on Monday sentenced three men to four years in prison each for carrying out a firebomb attack that killed a coast guard general and badly injured his wife.

Major General Vitaly Gamov and his wife

Major General Vitaly Gamov, who was in charge of the coast guard in the Russian Far East, died from his burns in a Japanese hospital after attackers threw gasoline bombs through the windows of his apartment on Sakhalin Island in May 2002.

The three attackers were convicted by a jury in Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk last month, and were sentenced by the Sakhalin Regional Court on Monday. The three men were found guilty of “reckless arson which led to a death” (think of it – throwing firebombs was just a reckless step), but not of premeditated murder.

Gamov’s widow, Larisa, who underwent months of treatment and plastic surgery in Japan for her burns, denounced the sentence as too lenient and said she would appeal it.

“They have committed such an atrocity to my family,” she said in televised remarks. “I hope for justice.”

The three men have been in custody since their arrest last year (that is they have just three years left to stay in jail – after that they’ll be set free).

Officials have blamed Gamov’s killing on Russian criminals involved in fishing trade in the Pacific coast, and said he was killed in revenge for his efforts to fight poachers who sell their catch to Japan, South Korea and China (the man was defending his country’s resources and wealth, and his country isn’t even grateful to him. The hero is now dead, the criminals are alive and we’ll be set free pretty soon)

Authorities alleged that a local crime lord had ordered the attack on Gamov, but the man was killed in South Korea in an apparent settling of scores between criminals. What we can conclude – the Russian government pays no honor to the country’s heroes. Quite contrary – it encourages criminals to kill them because there would be almost no punishment for that.

Damn, cursed country….

PS If you haven’t done it yet, read one of our previous posts, when a former Russian mayor killed five people and wasn’t even taken into custody, while the court found him not guilty.

December 25, 2006

What is the Russian second major problem and how to make billions on it

Let us be extremely frank with you: there are only two major problems in Russia: fools and roads (believe or not - this is a well known and oftenly cited saying in Russia). The rest things are so minor...

In this article below you can read how to make billions of dollars on the second major Russian problem. Actual pictures taken from the trip will just prove what we say.

The National Project Programs of the Russian Federation presents the fruits of the development of the most recent project to build modern overland transportation road link, upgrading highway that leads from Lisbon to Vladivostok.

We are proud to say our upgraded highway is using all newest engineering technology to ensure fast overland accesibility and safety.

After expenditures of US $3 billion dollars, Europe and Asia are linked as never before.

(Download this public service announcement in its original poster size here. Perfect for desktop background!)

Yes, the traffic looks bad now. But thanks to hi-technology mud, the Trans-Siberian Magistral cut traffic from 9 months to 8-1/2 months.

Our sustainable-development policy works with nature rather than attempting to conquer it. Therefore, we harness the energy of the rain and mud to produce 21st century hydro-roads.

Increased safety with extra wide shoulders allows drivers to work on their car, or to pull over and gaze at natural beauty of taiga.

Optional toll express lane takes stress off of primary road, while encouraging eco-friendly driving.


Roadside assistance is now in keeping with international standards.

Many sections of Trans Siberian Magistral offer roadside relax zones

Trans Siberian Magistral will facilitate fast delivery of goods to Far East, improving trade and transport.

Features new drainage systems to prevent flooding. Just 1 year ago, this truck would have completely sunk. Not now!

Durable road surface allows road sharing between all types of auto transport

Satellite phone connection is available throughout entire length of road.

Source: exile.ru

December 20, 2006

How top-level pop stars are connected with Russian oligarchs

Popstars appeared to find a new huge source of revenue of which few people know. Let us lift the veil of mystery from it. We all know Russia is rich of those nuevo riches that are called oligarchs. Having earned crazy money on exporting Russian natural resources which (just between you and me) equally belong to all Russians. This is stated in the Russian constitution. But who cares…Well, those above mentioned oligarchs don’t mind spending a couple of million dollars for inviting top popstars to their private parties – to song, to dance and so on.

Seems like popstars don’t mind taking those invitations. Recently the British singer Sting was paid around a million dollars (of course, this isn’t official information. This is all rumors, but something tells us we have no reasons for doubts) for a one-hour concert.

Last Christmas Robbie Williams also visited Moscow to sing for another Russian oligarch. This time his fee was around 2 million dollars. Less popular Anastasia got ‘ridiculous’ $800,000. We plan to extend our list in near future taking into account that upcoming holidays will most likely bring a crowd of American & British popstars.

Actually, we don’t mind and, honestly, glad that there are people who can earn millions per hour. The only question we have is whether they pay taxes from their fees, especially if we recall theat in Russia the common practice is to pay money in cash. But this question is rhetorical and we don’t think the pop stars mentioned in this article will ever answer it.

Surviving the Train

By Yasha Levine ( exile.ru )

I boarded my platzkart wagon heading out of Izhevsk feeling like I could die. And that was BEFORE entering platzkart--the infamous Russian third-class railway carriage. The train car, packed to the brim with foul-smelling Izhevsk hicks, was like one giant sweaty armpit. Everything stank from the moist vapors of BO, mouth rot and peregar hanging in the air.

I was about to start a17-hour Platzkart Hell journey back to Moscow, and this was the kicker: I was suffering from brutal food poisoning that I'd picked up in platzkart on the way out to Izhevsk. I was shivering, every muscle in my body ached, and my guts were cramping with unbearable pain. If the diarrhea started up again, I'd be fucked. You don't want to have unstoppable diarrhea attacks in a platzkart toilet, trust me.

The Girls of Platzkart

If you've never traveled platzkart, and chances are if you're reading this that you haven't, then you don't know what long distance transportation hell really means. It makes a 14-hour economy flight look like a weekend in the presidential suite of a Four Seasons resort. Russians fear and despise platzkart. They avoid it like the plague if they can. But for most Russians, struggling to get by in an increasingly expensive country, platzkart is the only feasible way to travel, especially over long distances. And if Russia is anything, it's long distances. The reason they choose platzkart, of course, is because it's cheap. A $50 ticket can get you all the way from Moscow to Vladivostok. That's $50 for a week of travel...

Welcome to the platzkart jungle, baby. You're gonna diiieeeee! This is the narrow corridor view. Now just imagine the odors.

I got into the platzkart carriage a few minutes before the train departed and all the passengers were already shedding their Izhevsk "city clothes" for more comfy platzkart wear: shitty track suits, sweat pants, and tapochki. Privacy isn't a virtue on platzkart. In fact, "keeping to yourself" is a sin there. Platzkart wagons have a maximum transport capacity of 54, not including 2 conductors, and house 18 more bodies than the standard 2nd class kupe wagons that everyone uses. With a 66.7% increased efficiency, platzkart has no room for walls or barriers. This space-saving design is achieved by shortening the length of each sleeping berth, getting rid of doors and narrowing the walkway to house 18 more beds. The basic layout is essentially a copy of the old slave ships, or perhaps the GULAG camps.

I was the last to enter the train, so by the time I got on, everyone was already donning their tapochki. Fat women were stripping down to their kalgoti, or the thick-knit wool version of Russian thermal underwear. The dudes were breaking out their wife beaters and trenerovki.

When I got to my spot, I found that my neighbors didn't waste any time settling in for the ride. They seemed to be happy! Ten people had already started partying in my compartment. It turned out this whole group of Izhevskians were going to that favorite provincial Russian destination--Egypt--and they wanted to celebrate starting NOW. So while a wiry, harmless-looking dude named Andrei was stripping to his undies and putting on a tracksuit, his wife was setting up the table for a train-style zastolye. Meanwhile his friends were pouring a round of vodka shots.

Usually, platzkart etiquette says that people in the top bunk can use the lower bunks directly underneath as seating areas, essentially benches, until the lower bunk occupant goes to sleep. At which point, the top bunk occupant has to a) move to his own shelf or b) find another place to hang out. But because the Egypt crew crammed themselves into my compartment, four per bench, I had no place to sit. I didn't bitch, I didn't want to. Not with my ass ready to explode like a Kamchatka volcano. I was getting lightheaded and needed to get out of visual range of the fish and pickles that were being laid out on the table. Fish--that's where I got this stomach virus in the first place. Without a word, I climbed up to my shelf and attempted to pass out. Yeah, right.

This kid on the upper right's head was right where Yasha's ass was. And, uh, Yasha's ass was not where you wanted your mouth or nose.

Lying there holding my stomach, I got to reminiscing about my last platzkart ride, two years ago, going from some zhopa in Belarus to St. Petersburg. What's funny is I thought that one was hell. I was wrong. It had cockroaches crawling on its ratty curtains and caked vomit covering its walkway carpet... but all those negatives faded away as soon as I closed my eyes. It was summer then and even the smell of fermented urine and feces which was wafting into the general sleeping area through a hole in the bathroom wall wasn't a bother. The cool countryside breeze took care of that.

The Izhevsk platzkart, by contrast, was cleanish and even stocked paper towels and European soap dispensers in the bathrooms. But all that didn't matter, with subzero temperatures outside, all its windows were bolted shut. That meant I was stuck with every odor. And so, as the train took off, the fun began...

Around 7PM: The train had barely left the platform, but already there was no air to breathe. I tried to sleep but the odor was getting worse. The piped-in heat was multiplying the BO, vodka and food smell. I was sweating profusely and needed to buy another bottle of water. I had no choice but to come down.

The party in my compartment was still raging. It must have started long before they got on the train because they were already completely fucked up drunk. A 10-year-old kid was the only person who could stand up. Everyone else was slumped over each other. A young tattooed guy with open acne sores on his face went looking for a guitar, leaning and falling on people as he walked around the wagon. He didn't find his sought-after guitar, but it didn't matter cuz the whole lot of them of them started singing songs by Vysotksi and Rosembaum anyway.

Around 7:30PM: I couldn't take it anymore. I decided there was no way I could survive it sober, the smell was still sickening. Poisoning or not, I broke down and decided to join the party. I downed two shots of vodka. They say it's supposed to heal stomach ailments.

Around 10PM: The woman sleeping below me wasn't in on the party and wanted to sleep. But as soon as she set up her sheets and lay down, two dudes sat down on her bed. She bitched, but no one cared. There was nothing she could do; similar parties were raging in three other cubbies right next to us. When in platzkart, baby, do as platzkarters...

Around 10:30PM: She attempted to appeal to the elder of the group, a bald guy with huge rolls of fat protruding from under his t-shirt. But he told her off: "Listen, woman. Why don't you convince all those people over there to quiet down first...when they stop, we'll stop. Agreed?" He went back to telling anti-American jokes.

Around 11PM: The lights were turned off in the wagon and the conductor came around and asked everyone to be quiet. She didn't demand, she asked nicely. She expressed her worry outright to everyone: that someone would lodge a formal complaint against her. It seemed ridiculous, but according to a Dagestani with whom I shared a compartment on the way to Izhevsk, that's the way Russia's railway system is these days. According to a cousin of his that works as a conductor, the railroad has been implementing a "no tolerance" policy with their workers. A serious complaint or one major infraction -- like selling booze under-the-counter to passengers -- gets them fired automatically, no questions asked. For about six months now, conductors have been scared shitless. They're all afraid of losing their cake 12,000 ruble a month salary. Could Putin really be changing this sacred institution for the better?

Everyone else from the Egypt-Or-Bust crew was already passed out, but two were still going strong. Andrei, a harmless wiry-looking dude with a wife and kid, and Alex, a 120-kilo bald guy that claimed he used to work for the FSB, moved to the 6X6 ft space adjoining the toilet to continue drinking. They realized they ran out of vodka, so I gave them a bottle of Moskovsky cognac I'd picked up in Izhevsk. If I didn't do that, my life might be in danger. You don't deny booze to a pack of drunken platzkarters.

Around 12AM: A guy from the Egypt crew caused a commotion by slumping down into the bed of a woman sleeping below him. They were strangers, but he was too drunk to climb up onto his shelf. The conductor couldn't wake him, so the woman passenger had no choice but to climb up and take his bed.

Andrei almost came to blows with an Armenian guy. The Armenian came up to him to say hello. Apparently they'd traveled together on this same train a few months back. Andrei had been repeating, "Blin, I'm so happy to be hanging out here right now" over and over for the past hour. He was too drunk to understand what the Armenian wanted.

Making up is hard to do: Yasha's compartment mate Andrei (right) skeptically makes peace with the Armenian guy (left).

"Ti cho! What the fuck you do you want from me! You got problems? Let's solve them right now," Andrei slurred too much to muster a yell. They started pushing each other around until Alex explained that the Armenian only wanted to say hello. Andrei was skeptical, but still gulped the cognac to "druzhba."

Andrei's wife got out of bed and demanded that he stop drinking and go to sleep. "Idi nakhuy!" he yelled at her as he pushed her back into the general sleeping area.

Around 1AM: A 6ft dude came up to Alex with beef. Two wretched-looking women in the mid-thirties -- one Caucasian looking, the other a fat Slav with huge breasts -- complained to him that Alex was making passes at them. "These tolki are with me, understand? One more time, and I'm going to come out and there are going to be problems," the 6ft dude told Alex.

Alex didn't answer, he just met the dude's gaze. At this point, 6 people were crammed into six square feet of space. Tensions were high, but unexpectedly Alex took the high ground. He apologized and they swigged cognac together.

"Did you see how I handled that guy?" he said to Andrei. "I made him feel like he's in charge, but in reality I was controlling the situation. Tomorrow, he's going to be as quiet as a mouse."

Andrei agreed. They finished the cognac.

Andrei went to pass out.

Around 1:30AM: The train made a 20-minute stop at an unspecified station. The two women that complained about Alex to their "two meter-tall man" came out and asked if he and I would accompany them outside for a beer. They didn't have money, so I paid for them. Fat Slav woman with udder-like breasts warmed me up under her rabbit skin shuba.

One of those late-night middle-of-nowhere shitholes you only remember as "that place I bought beer and vobly."

Around 2AM: The two women invited Alex and me to hang out in their nook. The train started moving and the girls told us to come on and join them in their nook to drink beer. Inside, the 6ft guy was passed out on one of the lower berths. While the Caucasian woman read my aura, the Slav (the 6ft guy's girlfriend) nudged her foot deep in my crotch.

Around 2:30AM: On my way to the bathroom, I bumped my head against some guy's foot that was sticking out halfway into the walkway. I bumped my head on it again on my way back. Other than Alex and the two chicks, the entire wagon was out asleep.

Around 4AM: My stomach cramps were getting worse and I began sweating again. The air duct right above my head didn't seem to seem to work and I was constantly passing toxic fumes that hovered around me. But I didn't care. It was the first time in my life I wasn't embarrassed to be singled out for farting.

Around 7AM: The air duct still hadn't come alive and as the conductor told me as we pulled into Moscow, she rarely turns it on to keep the wagon warm. The only source of fresh air was her own window, which she kept cracked the entire time.

Around 8:30AM: I woke up and got down from my berth. The air seemed fresher and cooler and the entire cabin was awake. Andrei's wife was preparing a breakfast of Ramen noodles, but no one in the wagon spoke to each other. I made my way over to the conductor to get a cup of coffee.

Around 10AM: The train arrived. I survived. Checked into a hospital to get hydrated. Then off to write this article...

December 18, 2006

No punishment for killing five people

В Кочубеевском районном суде Ставропольского края в понедельник пройдут предварительные слушания по уголовному делу бывшего руководителя администрации города Пятигорска Игоря Тарасова

The criminal case against former head of the town of Pyatigorsk Igor Tarassov, who caused an accident resulting in the deaths of five men discontinued immediately after the start of the trial.

Kocubeevski District Court of the Stavropol region on Monday granted the victims : "The criminal case is withdrawn because of reconciliation between the parties".

Vladislav Potapov, a lawyer of the accused, said that, in its application, all three victims, the relatives of people died in the accident, had asked the court to stop the criminal case because the accused ex-mayor fully paid them moral and material damage. “They told they consider Tarassov a decent person who from the outset has provided them with moral support and material assistance”, said counsel.

The compensation each of the three victims were paid was about 1 million rubles (approx. $38,000). "Each of the victims was paid almost $ 1 million rubles, therefore fully reconciled with the defendant, " the court judge said.

What happened on the road, and how the perpetrator of the incident fled

The investigation revealed that on August 23, 2006 at 2:00 a.m. Tarassov, driving his car Toyota Land Cruiser, violated the requirements of a road sign prohibiting speed of over 70 km / hour Moving in the direction of Stavropol at the speed of 110-130 km / hr, Tarassov crossed into the oncoming traffic, where faced a car heading towards the town of Nevinnomassk.

There were four men and a woman inside that car. The driver of the motor vehicle Vitali Gurkov and two passengers, his son and daughter-in-law, died on the spot, two more 22 y.o. Gurkov Alexei and Vasily Gruntowski were seriously injured in the head and torso, but were still alive.

"Realising that Gurkov and Gruntowski were deprived of the opportunity to take steps to self themselves as a result of their helplessness in connection with the injuries, Tarasov knowingly left them without assistance in the state dangerous do their lives and escaped from the location of the accident", says the report released and distributed earlier by the prosecutors’ office.

When Tarasov fled from the scene of the crime, law enforcement officials and the province health authorities tried to cover up the fact, that Tarasov was responsible for the accident. The fact of his arrival at one of the hospitals of Stavropol was hidden (as a result of the incident Tarasov was also injured).

Both victims, whom Tarasov left at the scene of the accident, died of injuries the following day in Kocubeevski central district hospital.

Tarasov was under subscription ban. The court refused keeping Tarassov in detention. Ex-mayor voluntarily relinquished his powers of the mayor of Pyatigorsk on October, 27. Prior to that appointment, he served as adviser to the Prime Minister of Chechnya.

For the reference:

According to the Russian Legislation a case on violation of road traffic rules resulting in the death of two or more persons, deliberate neglect people in dangerous to their lives state can not be dropped or withdrawn.

We give no more comments.

Source: http://www.newsru.com/

December 13, 2006

Erotic photo of President Putin

I don't know whether it's fake or not but nevertheless... for those who might be interested:





Meanwhile, let's recall how Putin looked like prior to becoming the Russian president:



Let's compare it to what he looks like now:




What we have left to say is to praise his imagemakers - they deserve what they're being paid...

December 12, 2006

Moscow police beat family of "draft evador"

Four police officers tried to illegally collect a young man to the military registration and enlistment office (“voenkomat”) from his own apartment, beat his parents and almost throttled his younger brother, said on Tuesday the radio station “Echo of Moscow”.

On Monday at 22:15 the district lieutenant Alexei Sergeev knocked ta the door of the apartment of Zuevykh family in a house on the Filevsky blvd. In the apartment there were five people : a husband, his wife, their two sons and a daughter. Sergeev ordered the eldest son Andrei Zuyev to follow him in “voenkomat”, the policeman did not pay attention to the words of eldest son Zuev about the state of his health (not suitable for serving in army) and documents confirming that fact, which he introduced.

Moreover, leitenant Sergeev called on the assistance of Major Victor Lavreniuka and two police officers whose names are unknown. According to the head of the family, "the policemen were most likely drunk."

Without hesitation one of the policement pushed back the father and the other one rushed to the mother. Seeing all these, the younger son Zuevykh family rushed to the offender, but was hit in the face. One of the policemen switched to the teenager and started strangling him.All beatings were further recorded by medical examination.

Then, using brute physical force, the policemen pulled Andrew from his apartment.

After that, the cops led Andrea into a prison cell of the militia, which is in the same house. Then they made a few calls, after which Lavreniuk said that the address they had was incorrect, in fact, they wanted another young man who had the same last name as Zueva. Then they suggested the young man to go to the voenkomat in the morning by himself and left.

Meanwhile, the father of the "draft evador" had a hypertension stroke that was testimonied by the ambulance service. Traces of strangulation on the neck and bruises on Constantine Zuev were observed next morning by doctors of the Filatovsky hospital. The family is going to lodge a complaint with the Moscow prosecutor's office. Police had no comments on the incident.

So, even if you’re innocent it doesn’t mean police can’t freely beat and strangle you. Welcome to Moscow, ladies and gentlemen!

Source: http://newsru.com/russia/12dec2006/izbienie.html

December 05, 2006

Funny drawings of Russian president Mr. Putin

Last summer there was a compition in russia amongst children regarding what they think of Putin and how they would draw and describe him. Those drawings below express the thoughts of little Russian children (according to the rules they should no be more than 13 y. o.)









We can see that children give a pretty accurate description of Putin: he likes skiing, he is good in martial arts, and, of course, ready to protect Russians from enemies.